Fugly

GANT (Yes, GANT) Releases A Wristwatch Line

4 Comments 16 November 2012

A million be-slacked boys have cursed the name of GANT for most of their puberty and now, with much fanfare, they can also check the time on their GANT branded watches.

Called the L.A.S., it is a quartz piece with a grains of rice bracelet and it has a domed plexiglas crystal and “epoxy coated” bezel (classy!). It will cost $225 in regular stores or $60 when it inevitably hits the watch case at T.J. Maxx.

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Fugly, Fun

Plutocrats Take Note: ArtyA Introduces The “Bye Bye Euro” Watch

No Comments 04 November 2011


Need to check if you’re late to your Bilderberg meeting? What better way than to wear the Bye Bye Euro watch, a timepiece that celebrates the death of Europe’s last great financial hope.

Our old, crazy buddies at ArtyA made the watch in their “crushed” case – a case that’s zapped with wild amounts of electricity – and then stuffed shredded euro behind the dial. Sure it’s a little pretentious, but for 5900 CHF you, too, can celebrate the sorrow of the 99% in style!
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Fugly

TIL Swarovski Is Serious About Watches

1 Comment 18 October 2011

Product placement FTW! Swarovski is apparently trying to flog watches more actively so they hired some time in a music video. How did I learn this information? From Brit’s violence-filled Criminal intro video where some American dude punches out a poncy Englishman and then rides off on his Harley while examining the Japanese-made watch on his wrist, Britney strapped to his back like a howler monkey.
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Fugly, Fun

The Party Don’t Start ‘Til Casio Hires Ke$ha To Half-Heartedly Design A Baby-G

1 Comment 21 September 2011

Ariel got some hot video of Ke$shaha talking about her sexy new Baby-G line! They come in red, white, and blue! And animal print! She wants Dave Grohl to wear her watch! Also Obama! What a great spokesperson!

Fugly, General, Reviews, Welder

The Welder K29

2 Comments 13 January 2010

The Welder K 29; the Beast of San Marino

53 millimeters of steaming hot steel from San Marino. It’s massive, it’s sexy, it’s red and black, it’s got three movements, and it’s from the coolest little country noone’s ever heard of.

With a chrono and two other time displays, this beast from the mountains surrounded by Italy is awesome. The movements are Miyota, it also comes in a silver dial with black hands and an all black model, and it comes in a heavy duty, air tight, carrying case. With the cut-outs on the dial and exposed allen screw heads, this watch has the whole heavy industrial look like nobody else, which is really ironic from a quaint little nation that you could walk across in a morning (in good mountain boots).
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Fugly, Omega

Are you freaking kidding me? Omega perfume?

3 Comments 09 October 2009

omega-aqua-terra-parfume-1
I love to smell nice as much as the next guy but this is too much. It’s Omega’s Aqua Terra for men. I guess it’s a cologne that smells like that mixture of sweat and leather you get when you wear the same watch all summer.
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Fugly, Fun, Manual, Reviews, WWR Exclusive

Review: AOMEI Erotic Watch, a real eBay find

6 Comments 08 October 2009

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I’m going to apologize in advance for this review. There are some who may be offended by its content in that I am discussing, in relative depth, an erotic watch of the type made popular by randy potentates in the 18th and 19th centuries along with one aspect that I find utterly vile and revolting. It is important to state that I do not condone this aspect of the watch and I find it highly offensive to boot.

The bile is rising even as I write this, friends, for this $34 watch from eBay advertises itself as a tourbillon yet is as far from a tourbillon as humanly possible. If tourbillon were the sun and this watch were a meteorite, the meteorite would be five million light years from the sun. And exploded already. And in little pieces in some distant star field. That’s how distant this is from a tourbillon.

Note: This is kind of NSFW.
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Fugly, Fun

Erotic watches: For the man who needs very little

2 Comments 25 September 2009

brequet erotic 1Before the Internet, when a gentleman wanted to polish the brass knobs of his dear mum’s armoire he would depend on his internal spank bank which, potentially, included nudes he had seen in postcards and museums as well as racy lines about breasts he may have read in the Bible. However, barring a visit to the local establishment of vice, there was little way to view two people giving it the old Charles and Diana, if you catch my meaning.

Thus they had to resort to horological erotic automata. These were watch movements featuring two or more figures giving each other a good, filling Hardee’s breakfast either on command or at a set time. These things appear in all sorts of watches including clocks, pocket-watches, and even modern wristwatches.
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