Need to check if you’re late to your Bilderberg meeting? What better way than to wear the Bye Bye Euro watch, a timepiece that celebrates the death of Europe’s last great financial hope.
Our old, crazy buddies at ArtyA made the watch in their “crushed” case – a case that’s zapped with wild amounts of electricity – and then stuffed shredded euro behind the dial. Sure it’s a little pretentious, but for 5900 CHF you, too, can celebrate the sorrow of the 99% in style! Read more…
Product placement FTW! Swarovski is apparently trying to flog watches more actively so they hired some time in a music video. How did I learn this information? From Brit’s violence-filled Criminal intro video where some American dude punches out a poncy Englishman and then rides off on his Harley while examining the Japanese-made watch on his wrist, Britney strapped to his back like a howler monkey. Read more…
Ariel got some hot video of Ke$shaha talking about her sexy new Baby-G line! They come in red, white, and blue! And animal print! She wants Dave Grohl to wear her watch! Also Obama! What a great spokesperson!
53 millimeters of steaming hot steel from San Marino. It’s massive, it’s sexy, it’s red and black, it’s got three movements, and it’s from the coolest little country noone’s ever heard of.
With a chrono and two other time displays, this beast from the mountains surrounded by Italy is awesome. The movements are Miyota, it also comes in a silver dial with black hands and an all black model, and it comes in a heavy duty, air tight, carrying case. With the cut-outs on the dial and exposed allen screw heads, this watch has the whole heavy industrial look like nobody else, which is really ironic from a quaint little nation that you could walk across in a morning (in good mountain boots). Read more…
I love to smell nice as much as the next guy but this is too much. It’s Omega’s Aqua Terra for men. I guess it’s a cologne that smells like that mixture of sweat and leather you get when you wear the same watch all summer. Read more…
I’m going to apologize in advance for this review. There are some who may be offended by its content in that I am discussing, in relative depth, an erotic watch of the type made popular by randy potentates in the 18th and 19th centuries along with one aspect that I find utterly vile and revolting. It is important to state that I do not condone this aspect of the watch and I find it highly offensive to boot.
The bile is rising even as I write this, friends, for this $34 watch from eBay advertises itself as a tourbillon yet is as far from a tourbillon as humanly possible. If tourbillon were the sun and this watch were a meteorite, the meteorite would be five million light years from the sun. And exploded already. And in little pieces in some distant star field. That’s how distant this is from a tourbillon.
Before the Internet, when a gentleman wanted to polish the brass knobs of his dear mum’s armoire he would depend on his internal spank bank which, potentially, included nudes he had seen in postcards and museums as well as racy lines about breasts he may have read in the Bible. However, barring a visit to the local establishment of vice, there was little way to view two people giving it the old Charles and Diana, if you catch my meaning.
Thus they had to resort to horological erotic automata. These were watch movements featuring two or more figures giving each other a good, filling Hardee’s breakfast either on command or at a set time. These things appear in all sorts of watches including clocks, pocket-watches, and even modern wristwatches. Read more…
Man, come on. What the heck is this Audemars Piguet abomination? It’s named after the Montauk Highway on Long Island and is apparently aimed at folks who summer at the Hamptons. But wait a minute: shouldn’t those folks be paying for their house shares and not dumping $20K for one of these limited edition preppy-themed monstrosities? Read more…
Reader Arman bought a Candino C4372_5, a “Swiss-Made” quartz with a bit of a problem. Can you spot it?
The model seems to be a few years old which clearly gives the company a bit of leeway in what kind of garbage it can sell its customers. Arman hasn’t heard back from Candino and I doubt he will. Read more…
A world class timepiece? A photoframe? Why didn’t I think of this!
Bonus to the readers – In which William Gibson book did someone see a sarariman with a holographic vagina on his watch. I, for the life of me, can’t find that passage.
I have nothing but respect for competent, innovative marketing tactics. But when marketers fail to their homework and are clumsy with an unconventional approach, I will be first in line to call the ugly baby ugly.
Stephen D Time tried a clumsy attempt at guerrilla marketing on Amazon.com. A shill entered into the discussion groups spouting the merits of Stephen D watches in a forum inhabited by a number of watch nerds, including yours truly. Rather than rant and flame, I tried to be open and look at the merits of the watch. Read more…
How can they do this to an innocent Swiss chronograph movement? A chaste mechanism dressed like this and forced to walk the streets. I might not wear it myself, but I can understand a lady, a metro, or some other individual who enjoys a watch with gold finish, or a few diamond chips, or a little bit of color. But gold and lots of diamond chips and a lot of color… This is an offense against aesthetics, and sadly noone can prosecute.
I need to get a lot of eye-bleach and spend the next fortnight in silent meditation on a Panerai.
Chad the Watch Guy is reporting that he’s seeing a max out in big watches at 42mm which means even rappers and oligarchs won’t go around wearing pie plates on their wrists for much longer. I can handle a 50mm+ sports watch, but 42mm is a bit big for a mechanical, non? Your thoughts?
I’d been planning on selling a watch to a fellow in the UK — a watchuseek.com member, actually — and we decided to use DHL to send it. Big mistake. They lost the damn package and now I essentially have no recourse. Either ShipRite, in Bay Ridge Brooklyn, stole it or DHL dropped it in the sewer, but I’m pissed. I’ll never use them again.
Before the Internet, when a gentleman wanted to polish the brass knobs of his dear mum’s armoire he would depend on his internal spank bank which, potentially, included nudes he had seen in postcards and museums as well as racy lines about breasts he may have 
I’d been planning on selling a watch to a fellow in the UK — a watchuseek.com member, actually — and we decided to use DHL to send it. Big mistake. They lost the damn package and now I essentially have no recourse. Either 
