If you’ve ever wondered where the middle- to low-end of the watch world came from, here you go. Most “brand name” watches like Calvin Klein, Burberry, and the like come from Chinese OEMs who, for the most part, run their companies as well or better than Swiss manufacturers.

For example, I got this email today offering me OEM services from a company in Shenzhen, China, the heart of world manufacturing. Shenzhen is where they make almost all Apple products as well as huge range of precision equipment.

Why am I mentioning this? Because China is a very real threat to Swiss hegemony. The average frou-frou watch retailer would tsk tsk that suggestion, but remember: people manufacture watches and people are people wherever they are. Do Chinese manufacturers cut corners and create absolute abortions sometimes? Yes, they do. But can they build the pyramidal base of the watch market by producing acceptable timepieces for the average person? Absolutely.

Switzerland would do well to heed this simple warning: they’ve been burned by ignoring the East once before, during the quartz crisis. Take China seriously. There are no second chances.

Some dude, some lady, and some other dude cut some ribbon.

This, sadly, is what amounts to news to most watch companies. Don’t get me wrong: I love Hublot. When/if I’m rich I’ll buy a Big Bang. But look at that: Usain Bolt cutting a ribbon with two other people. That’s not news, that’s some strange sense that Hublot can become as famous as Usain Bolt by associating his ribbon cutting skills with the brand.

I’ve been harping on this for years: brands need to stand on their benefits to the educated consumer. CE brands have already distanced themselves from celebrity endorsements for a good reason: eventually that celebrity will be associated with some sort of sex and drug scandal involving gerbils, meth, and Katy Perry. It’s inevitable. Why pin your brand on some dude who can run fast when the real valuable players in your company are the watchmakers who make miracles every day?

Geeks love watches. Sell watches to geeks. Lots of people understand this (most notably Bremont) and I assure you that the average oligarch doesn’t care about Usain Bolt. He cares about buying a watch to impress some gazelle-like model in Trieste.

So, in the end, we’re treated with another exciting watch company press release: Some dude who does something does something. It’s enough to make me want to resort to eBay brands.

Man, come on. What the heck is this Audemars Piguet abomination? It’s named after the Montauk Highway on Long Island and is apparently aimed at folks who summer at the Hamptons. But wait a minute: shouldn’t those folks be paying for their house shares and not dumping $20K for one of these limited edition preppy-themed monstrosities?

Fratello doesn’t mind it but he doesn’t quite get the baggage that this watch invokes. He notes:

Whatever. Just another lame excuse to create a great looking watch in only a limited production number. The watch is (or was..) only available through London Jewelers in East Hampton and South Hampton and at the Audemars Piguet boutiques in both New York and Bal Harbour.

I have nothing but respect for competent, innovative marketing tactics. But when marketers fail to their homework and are clumsy with an unconventional approach, I will be first in line to call the ugly baby ugly.

Stephen D Time tried a clumsy attempt at guerrilla marketing on Amazon.com. A shill entered into the discussion groups spouting the merits of Stephen D watches in a forum inhabited by a number of watch nerds, including yours truly. Rather than rant and flame, I tried to be open and look at the merits of the watch.

I erroneously had the impression that they used a Swiss movement in all their models but as I double checked myself, this is not the case. They put a Seiko quartz movement in most (a movement Seiko doesn’t put in their own watches, as far as I could tell), and save the Ronda quartz movement for the “select” editions. This was the closest thing to a merit I could find, and then it went downhill.

The style is atrocious. A 45mm watch, with glitz and shine in a vain attempt to make up for the shortcomings in substance. I’m sure this will sit well with the pretentious but uninformed gangsta wannabes, and incompetent status seekers their marketing appears to target. Clearly sized for a man that feels inadequate, with sub-dials for day and date on most models, in an effort to look like a chronograph. A guy who wears a chronograph that he doesn’t know how to use is shallow, a guy who wears a watch that is trying to look like a chronograph that he doesn’t know how to use is embarrassing to stand near.

The overall styling is a thinly veiled homage to Chanel watches, which in turn are overpriced homage to Blancpain… An homage of an homage; isn’t someone going to go blind like that?

Stephen D is using a historically successful but lame business strategy. Sadly, we can expect to see this pattern reappear, as it is a way to turn a quick buck.

But if you’re going to attempt an “out of the box” approach to marketing; research your methodology and target audience, don’t just throw it out there and hope.

The Royal Oak from Audemars Piguet line, essentially a water resistant line of yachting watches, is famous for being the first steel luxury watch ever made. It’s a beautiful pieces, looks great on men and women, and is potentially affordable used. However, in order to follow Bell & Ross and Zenith into the depths of Crazytown they’ve decided to offer this “Survivor” model which looks like a robot took a dump on a turtle.

The case, for example, is crazy:

Strongbox-Type Case with antimagnetic system, cone shaped pushpieces, hollowed pushpiece guards, crown, crown guard and studs in blackened titanium perforated ceramic bezel

Stronbox? Wha? Cones? Studs? What is this – a watch or an S&M bar?

The press release follows but this is being made in a limited edition of 1,000 and thank God, too, because it bastardizes all that the Royal Oak stands for.

Introducing the Royal Oak Offshore “Survivor”
Shapes and ergonomics. Each detail is meticulously designed to ensure a blend
of efficiency and lightness. The perforations on the bezel lighten up the structure without compromising its sturdiness. The hollowed pushpieces equipped with a security look ensure user-friendly handling. In a similar vein, the generous size and notched rim of the crown, as well as the ratcheted case edge, facilitate getting a quick and sure grip on this exceptional instrument. The conical shape of the pushpieces guarantees instant activation of the chronograph function, while the skeleton hands, luminescent hour-markers and silver-coloured small seconds counter guarantee optimal readability by day or night. And finally, since nothing is left to chance, a careful observer will note the apertures on the case middle and studs.

SIGNATURE FEATURES

Strongbox-type case water-resistant to 100 metres, with antimagnetic system designed to protect the mechanism from any hostile element. Hexagonal socket-head screws echoing the legendary hexagonal screws of the Royal Oak Offshore models. Exclusive “Méga Tapisserie” guilloché pattern on the dial, matched on this model by the chequered Motif on the strap Strap perfectly integrated with the case.

High-precision Instrument The Royal Oak Offshore Survivor houses the exclusive Audemars Piguet selfwinding Calibre 3126/3840, guaranteeing sturdiness, reliability and precision rating: up to 60-hour power reserve thanks to a mainspring which, by supplying constant force over a longer time-span, ensures enhanced rating accuracy; a cross-through balance-cock reinforcing the stability of the movement; a balance-stop mechanism serving to immobilise the seconds hand and thus enabling time-setting to the nearest second; a variable-inertia balance equipped with eight inertia blocks enabling precise and stable adjustment; fast date correction with an integrated security system avoiding any risk of date disc blockage when the adjustment occurs at midnight; bidirectional automatic winding of the mainspring by means of a 22-carat gold rotor mounted on a ball-bearing mechanism.

HIGH-TECH MATERIALS

Blackened titaniumplays the starring role. This ultra-light material has been chosen for the case and the surrounding elements: studs, pushpieces and pushpiece guards, crown and oversized strap buckle. The same goes for the medallion back featuring a special non-slip texture. Titanium also shows up on the lower part of the octagonal bezel, while its upper part opts for ceramics. The latter is distinguished by clearly marked vertical grooves reminiscent of the characteristic satin finish of the Royal Oak Offshore collection. The strap is made from vulcanised rubber, an indispensable part of the extreme sports universe. Its matt black granular surface accentuates the adventurous camouflage-type look of this chronograph issued in a limited edition of 1,000.

MOVEMENT
Calibre: 3126/3840, Selfwinding
Total Diameter: 26 mm (11 1/2 Lignes)
Thickness: 7.16 mm
59 Jewels
365 Parts
Up to 60-hour power reserve
21,600 VPH
Variable-Inertia Balance with Eight Inertia-Blocks and a flat-spring
Geneva-Type Mobile Balance Spring Stud-Holder
Three Position Winding Crown
Finishing: All parts decorated by hand; Manipulate Rhodium-Plated, Bevelled and Stippled; Bridges Adorned with “Cotes De Geneve” Motif

STRAP
Vulcanized Rubber with Chequered Motifs and oversized buckle in blackened titanium

CASE
Strongbox-Type Case with antimagnetic system, cone shaped pushpieces, hollowed pushpiece guards, crown, crown guard and studs in blackened titanium perforated ceramic bezel
Diameter: 42mm
Thickness: 15.65mm
Water-Resistance: 100m
Medallion back in blackened titanium with non-slip Motif, titanium engraved with the inscription Royal Oak Offshore Survivor- Limited Edition

DIAL
Matt black, exclusive “Mega Tapisserie” Guilloche Motif
Snailed Hour-Circle
Luminescent Skeleton Hour and Minute Hands
Luminescent Applied Hour-Markers

FUNCTIONS
Hours and Minutes
Small Seconds
Chronograph with central sweep seconds hand
30-minute and 12-hour counters
Tachometric Scale around the flange
Date

REFERENCE
2616510.00A002CA.01
Limited Series of 1,000

via ProWatches

A pet peeve of mine – using the words accuracy and precision incorrectly, and failing to make a distinction between the two.

Accuracy;
“degree of conformity of a measure to a standard or a true value”
accuracy. (2008). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
Retrieved October 6, 2008, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accuracy

Precision;
“the degree of refinement with which an operation is performed or a measurement stated”
precision. (2008). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
Retrieved October 6, 2008, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/precision

In watches, accuracy is how well the watch keeps time and reflects the time according to an accepted standard. That is to say, how many seconds the watch gains or loses in a given period and how close it is to the Observatory clock. A Movado with no markings may be as accurate as an Omega with a similar movement, if they gain or lose time similarly (so many seconds a week, for example) and are set correctly.

Precision is the markings on the face, or the decimal places in the digital read out, with smaller intervals of time measured reflecting greater precision. John’s personal favorite, the Alpha GMT has the customary degree of precision, but I invite you to consider John’s observations about its accuracy. I have had similar experiences with Vostok, which represents everything I’ve learned to expect from Russian-made machinery.

So a Movado can be accurate, but not precise, while a Faux-lex, $15 knock off of a good watch, is precise without being accurate. Look at a watch with only hour markings, and you can estimate the minutes +/-1, so you can say that it is about 2:17, and if the atomic clock at the National Observatory says anything between 2:16 and 2:18, the watch is accurate but not precise. Look at a watch that displays seconds, and if it reads 2:17:31, and the time is 2:13:08, it is precise, but less accurate.

I want this. Comments?

When robots make poop, this thing comes out.

Wrist Dreams: Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon ZERO-G El Primero

Why, God? Why?

Ah, the return of the MP3-playing watch. This time, without the ridiculous headphone cord running up your arm. The GoldLantern Bluex Bluetooth MP3 Watch comes with 1GB of storage and a pair of Bluetooth 2.0 headphones.

CrunchGear » Archive » Bluetooth MP3 watch for when you just can’t stand to not have something that plays music strapped to you

I always though Invicta was shady but here’s some confirmation. This poor guy gets his watch back in WORSE condition than when he sent it in.

I sent my Invicta Dune diver back to Invicta in October of last year to have them replace the lume dot on the bezel, which had fallen out, after only wearing the watch about three times. The movement on this watch was also very stiff and something was not right with it from day one. I sent a check for $25 per their warranty instructions.

I received a card back in the mail about three weeks later acknowledging receipt of my watch, with an estimated delivery back to me of mid-November. So far, so good.

Well, I didn’t receive the watch back until December 13th, so this simple repair took 2-1/2 months, which is an incredibly long time to wait, IMHO. All my experiences with Seiko’s COSERV have taken about three weeks at the most. Invicta also did me the favor of scratching the bezel on the watch, with a visible mark running from the ‘50’ to the ‘56’ on the bezel. This scratch was NOT there when the watch was sent in for ‘service.’ They did replace the lume dot and seemingly serviced the movement, but they damaged the watch in the process by scratching the bezel.

I immediately, within 20 minutes of receiving the watch, emailed Invicta’s customer service center describing the problem and requesting that my $25 be refunded to me (I did not receive adequate service from them, only a damaged watch in return) and/or a new replacement bezel be sent to me, as I had no intention of sending my watch back in and risking further damage or another 2-1/2 month wait. I do not think this request was out of line in any way.

After receiving no response, I proceeded over the next two weeks to email Invicta’s service center, customer service personnel and their sales department three more times, with absolutely no response from anyone. We’re talking a total of about 13 emails without response.

Why I’m Through with INVICTA My story of Terrible Customer Service…