It’s not every day you find a watch that can feasibly kill a man. The Rogue Warrior Red Cell is just such a watch.

The watch, designed by Richard “Dick” Marcinko AKA the Rogue Warrior, chairman of Red Cell International Corp., a security consulting firm. Mr. Marcinko (you call this guy “Mister” and “Sir”) has a Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat, and founded SEAL Team SIX, the Navy’s counter terrorist command and Red Cell, a group that could… heck. I’ll just paste this from his website:

Marcinko later was named commanding officer and founder of a second counter-terrorism unit, Red Cell. Commanding Red Cell, Marcinko was directed to use his team to test the Navy’s anti-terrorist capabilities. As a result he was able to infiltrate seemingly impenetrable, highly-secured bases, nuclear submarines, ships and other purported “secure areas”, including the U.S. Presidential plane Air Force One. In doing so he reportedly embarrassed several superior officers, whom he accuses of involvement in his subsequent conviction for misappropriation of funds and resources under his command.

Homeboy could sneak on board Air Force One. That is badass.
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I’m going to apologize in advance for this review. There are some who may be offended by its content in that I am discussing, in relative depth, an erotic watch of the type made popular by randy potentates in the 18th and 19th centuries along with one aspect that I find utterly vile and revolting. It is important to state that I do not condone this aspect of the watch and I find it highly offensive to boot.

The bile is rising even as I write this, friends, for this $34 watch from eBay advertises itself as a tourbillon yet is as far from a tourbillon as humanly possible. If tourbillon were the sun and this watch were a meteorite, the meteorite would be five million light years from the sun. And exploded already. And in little pieces in some distant star field. That’s how distant this is from a tourbillon.

Note: This is kind of NSFW.
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Italo Fontana created the original U-Boat watches as a designer. The watches were mostly regarded as fashion accessories rather then high-end watches thanks to the use of Japanese quartz movements and K1 mineral crystals. Today, the company and their timepieces have evolved. While one of their most appealing aspects is still their look, this aspect is backed by all the features of high-end watch production, including modified mechanical ETA movements, sapphire crystals, hand-made straps, and sturdy well designed cases. I can attest to the quality of today’s U-Boat models, and will demonstrate it by examining U-Boat’s Classico series.
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Serket, formerly Scorpion, makes really nice dive watches. They’re not very flashy but they’re well-made and use real Swiss Movements inside an American-designed case. I’ve reviewed the 1.0 version of this watch and I really liked it.

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