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Review: AOMEI Erotic Watch, a real eBay find

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I’m going to apologize in advance for this review. There are some who may be offended by its content in that I am discussing, in relative depth, an erotic watch of the type made popular by randy potentates in the 18th and 19th centuries along with one aspect that I find utterly vile and revolting. It is important to state that I do not condone this aspect of the watch and I find it highly offensive to boot.

The bile is rising even as I write this, friends, for this $34 watch from eBay advertises itself as a tourbillon yet is as far from a tourbillon as humanly possible. If tourbillon were the sun and this watch were a meteorite, the meteorite would be five million light years from the sun. And exploded already. And in little pieces in some distant star field. That’s how distant this is from a tourbillon.

Note: This is kind of NSFW.

Candino Swiss Watches: Where Quality Is Job 8

5

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Reader Arman bought a Candino C4372_5, a “Swiss-Made” quartz with a bit of a problem. Can you spot it?

The model seems to be a few years old which clearly gives the company a bit of leeway in what kind of garbage it can sell its customers. Arman hasn’t heard back from Candino and I doubt he will.

Mr Jones Watches The Green Man Watch, Wear your Vegetables

Mr Jones Green Man 01Mr Jones Watches Company is a small, self described cult watch brand out of London.  They make interesting looking and affordable watches that are definitely outside the norm.  Patrick has tended to cover the brand in the past, but I am going to look at the Mr Jones Watches The Green Man, a definite departure from the norm.

Alain Silberstein TOURBILLON PAPAYA

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Apparently Alain Silberstein’s design team is blind.

This Alain Silberstein Tourbillon Papaya limited edition watch not only uses orange alligator skin for the strap, it also utilitzes alligator skin for the case. The date dial is made of mother-of-pearl and the watch dial uses papaya alligator skin like the strap and case.

Alain Silberstein TOURBILLON PAPAYA [PROFESSIONAL WATCHES]

Are you freaking kidding me? Omega perfume?

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I love to smell nice as much as the next guy but this is too much. It’s Omega’s Aqua Terra for men. I guess it’s a cologne that smells like that mixture of sweat and leather you get when you wear the same watch all summer.

The Welder K29

The Welder K 29; the Beast of San Marino

53 millimeters of steaming hot steel from San Marino. It’s massive, it’s sexy, it’s red and black, it’s got three movements, and it’s from the coolest little country noone’s ever heard of.

With a chrono and two other time displays, this beast from the mountains surrounded by Italy is awesome. The movements are Miyota, it also comes in a silver dial with black hands and an all black model, and it comes in a heavy duty, air tight, carrying case. With the cut-outs on the dial and exposed allen screw heads, this watch has the whole heavy industrial look like nobody else, which is really ironic from a quaint little nation that you could walk across in a morning (in good mountain boots).

A Sad Tale of Woe: DHL Sucks

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I’d been planning on selling a watch to a fellow in the UK — a watchuseek.com member, actually — and we decided to use DHL to send it. Big mistake. They lost the damn package and now I essentially have no recourse. Either ShipRite, in Bay Ridge Brooklyn, stole it or DHL dropped it in the sewer, but I’m pissed. I’ll never use them again.

Full story

GANT (Yes, GANT) Releases A Wristwatch Line

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A million be-slacked boys have cursed the name of GANT for most of their puberty and now, with much fanfare, they can also check the time on their GANT branded watches.

Called the L.A.S., it is a quartz piece with a grains of rice bracelet and it has a domed plexiglas crystal and “epoxy coated” bezel (classy!). It will cost $225 in regular stores or $60 when it inevitably hits the watch case at T.J. Maxx.

Do Good With a Can (Watch)

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One of the nice things about writing for a widely read site is that companies will send us notices of upcoming designs and products in advance of the public release.  This was the case with the Can Watch, who sent us a notice a while back.  I will be honest, my reaction at the time was not positive.  But in reflection, the watch project on Kickstarter is definitely unique and will give anyone who gets one of these watches a story behind the product, and the project does hope to do good on a couple of levels.

PhotoWatch!

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A world class timepiece? A photoframe? Why didn’t I think of this!

Bonus to the readers – In which William Gibson book did someone see a sarariman with a holographic vagina on his watch. I, for the life of me, can’t find that passage.