What’s that? Come here, sweetie. They didn’t mean it. What did they say exactly? Come here. Stop crying. Ok. Count to ten.

Deep breath. They called you “fattie?” You’re just bigger than the other sports watches, sweetie. Look at Suunto. Or look at Casio’s Pathfinder line. You’re about the same size but you have more features!

What? The T-Touch said that? Well the T-Touch doesn’t have a huge, extremely readable digital face with plenty of at-a-glance information. I mean look at you: you can tell if it will rain just by checking your wrist. And your compass is better than the T-Touch’s.

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ByJohn Biggs

John lives in Brooklyn and has loved watches since he got his first Swatch Irony automatic in 1998. He is the editor of WristWatchReview.

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