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The Party Don’t Start ‘Til Casio Hires Ke$ha To Half-Heartedly Design A Baby-G

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Ariel got some hot video of Ke$shaha talking about her sexy new Baby-G line! They come in red, white, and blue! And animal print! She wants Dave Grohl to wear her watch! Also Obama! What a great spokesperson!

Are you freaking kidding me? Omega perfume?

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I love to smell nice as much as the next guy but this is too much. It’s Omega’s Aqua Terra for men. I guess it’s a cologne that smells like that mixture of sweat and leather you get when you wear the same watch all summer.

Erotic watches: For the man who needs very little

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brequet erotic 1Before the Internet, when a gentleman wanted to polish the brass knobs of his dear mum’s armoire he would depend on his internal spank bank which, potentially, included nudes he had seen in postcards and museums as well as racy lines about breasts he may have read in the Bible. However, barring a visit to the local establishment of vice, there was little way to view two people giving it the old Charles and Diana, if you catch my meaning.

Thus they had to resort to horological erotic automata. These were watch movements featuring two or more figures giving each other a good, filling Hardee’s breakfast either on command or at a set time. These things appear in all sorts of watches including clocks, pocket-watches, and even modern wristwatches.

The Welder K29

The Welder K 29; the Beast of San Marino

53 millimeters of steaming hot steel from San Marino. It’s massive, it’s sexy, it’s red and black, it’s got three movements, and it’s from the coolest little country noone’s ever heard of.

With a chrono and two other time displays, this beast from the mountains surrounded by Italy is awesome. The movements are Miyota, it also comes in a silver dial with black hands and an all black model, and it comes in a heavy duty, air tight, carrying case. With the cut-outs on the dial and exposed allen screw heads, this watch has the whole heavy industrial look like nobody else, which is really ironic from a quaint little nation that you could walk across in a morning (in good mountain boots).

Plutocrats Take Note: ArtyA Introduces The “Bye Bye Euro” Watch

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Need to check if you’re late to your Bilderberg meeting? What better way than to wear the Bye Bye Euro watch, a timepiece that celebrates the death of Europe’s last great financial hope.

Our old, crazy buddies at ArtyA made the watch in their “crushed” case – a case that’s zapped with wild amounts of electricity – and then stuffed shredded euro behind the dial. Sure it’s a little pretentious, but for 5900 CHF you, too, can celebrate the sorrow of the 99% in style!

Stephen D Time: When guerrilla marketing goes bad.

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I have nothing but respect for competent, innovative marketing tactics. But when marketers fail to their homework and are clumsy with an unconventional approach, I will be first in line to call the ugly baby ugly.

Stephen D Time tried a clumsy attempt at guerrilla marketing on Amazon.com. A shill entered into the discussion groups spouting the merits of Stephen D watches in a forum inhabited by a number of watch nerds, including yours truly. Rather than rant and flame, I tried to be open and look at the merits of the watch.

PhotoWatch!

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A world class timepiece? A photoframe? Why didn’t I think of this!

Bonus to the readers – In which William Gibson book did someone see a sarariman with a holographic vagina on his watch. I, for the life of me, can’t find that passage.

Audemars Piguet jumps the shark all the way to the Hamptons

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Man, come on. What the heck is this Audemars Piguet abomination? It’s named after the Montauk Highway on Long Island and is apparently aimed at folks who summer at the Hamptons. But wait a minute: shouldn’t those folks be paying for their house shares and not dumping $20K for one of these limited edition preppy-themed monstrosities?

Do Good With a Can (Watch)

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One of the nice things about writing for a widely read site is that companies will send us notices of upcoming designs and products in advance of the public release.  This was the case with the Can Watch, who sent us a notice a while back.  I will be honest, my reaction at the time was not positive.  But in reflection, the watch project on Kickstarter is definitely unique and will give anyone who gets one of these watches a story behind the product, and the project does hope to do good on a couple of levels.

TIL Swarovski Is Serious About Watches

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Product placement FTW! Swarovski is apparently trying to flog watches more actively so they hired some time in a music video. How did I learn this information? From Brit’s violence-filled Criminal intro video where some American dude punches out a poncy Englishman and then rides off on his Harley while examining the Japanese-made watch on his wrist, Britney strapped to his back like a howler monkey.