Categorized | Fun, Zenith

Amazon Reviewers Take On The Zentith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon

Posted on 09 February 2012 by John Biggs

So you’re in the market for a $90,000 titanium tourbillon? Where do you go? Amazon, of course!

This grey market Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon is some pretty hot stuff, to be sure, but what to Amazon’s reviewers have to say about it? Instead of blither on and on about craftsmanship, they assume that this watch is a boondoggle (which it kind of is) and take the tongue-in-cheek route.

The description for this watch reads: “It’s said that one night after Jacot finished a movement he considered almost perfection he went out and looked at the stars and he felt the stars almost speak to him. ”

I will only buy watches from makers who eat lots of fiber, and I would recommend that you do so as well. The Zenith Xtreme Tourbillon is such a watch.

Trust me, I really want to give this watch 5 stars, but I find it terribly ironic that a device used to tell time has stolen so much of it from me. Ever since I purchased this watch, I am taking calls during work and at all hours of the night from women who now find me irresistibly attractive. I tried to go on a date with one of these women once, but she spent the entire evening staring at my wrist and making strange (yet slightly arousing) grunting noises.

I have more attention than I could ever hope for, but I feel so alone. At least I saved $58,000.01, though.

I bought this watch and then realized that there was one for sale on woot for $86,998.99. Don’t waste your money folks!

That’s the funny thing about high-end watches: unless you know what you’re looking for, they seem like snake oil. And who’s to say that they aren’t?

Buy the new book by WWR editor John Biggs!

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